this is a morning for Intelligentsia and crepes, the Coldplay station on Pandora, kicking my feet up on the desk as i search the recesses of my soul for words to articulate how i’m feeling.
it was also a morning for confusion, miscommunication and hurt feelings as the man and I had our first…well,something. disagreement, misunderstanding, whatever. we finally had a good, what he called “compromising convo” and agreed that things are moving really fast. not in a bad way, it’s just overwhelming at times.
but it’s mostly really….natural. it’s like i was walking along and i looked up, and there he was. like our paths just naturally intersected and became one. since we’ve met we’ve spent a considerable amount of time together, sharing both the elaborarte and the ordinary moments of life. going to plays, eating lots of food, watching our fav shows (Glee and New Girl), mopping up the gallery when the floor flooded. it’s been really sweet.
i wrote awhile back about not feeling like parts of my life fit me anymore (read here), and that feeling is even more exaggerated in this time of transition. i’m moving from my house and even my neighborhood within in the next couple weeks. i haven’t spent any significant time with my friend family, but have been able to have good conversations with new friends i don’t know as well. my life hasn’t be devoid of community; it just hasn’t looked the same.
i’m in no way saying i’m ok with scrapping my old situations/friends, but i do find myself in a place of needing some serious breathing room. i look at all those things that used to be so familiar to me as though they are strangers, distant blots on the horizon behind me. meanwhile, i keep pressing forward toward those things i’ve yet to know fully, those things that have become more familiar.
perhaps home is really a moving target.