new horizons.

one of the facets of Lent is cleansing. doing an interior and exterior life scan, finding those things that no longer serve you, and getting rid of them.

i’ve found a lot of freedom in that activity…cleaning out my closet and tossing that sweater i never wear, those shoes that no longer fit my style. clearing my dresser and giving back borrowed books. my space feels less cluttered.

i’ve also begun to reevaluate my situation re: work, living in the city, etc. i’ve found that i am in a sweet spot–great projects, fantastic boss, beautiful community, family close by.

but i’m unchallenged. bored, even, as i’ve mentioned before.

as if the two were on a scale–great people, place, etc. vs. being unchallenged–i’ve begun to wonder which would weigh out. which would become more important to me.

slowly, but surely, being unchallenged outweighed the rest, and i began to search for jobs. full-time jobs. in other cities. we’re talking full-out changing it up here.

don’t get me wrong…i LOVE my community and my city. this is not something i’m taking lightly. but there is much about my life that is no longer serving me, and i must rid myself of the deadweight. allow myself to be free and light, and try something new, gain new experiences.

i told my boss this afternoon, with trembling hands, that this meant i would need to leave the gallery eventually. he was gracious, as usual, encouraging and thankful for my service; i will ever be grateful to know him. the conversation was incredibly relieving. i’ve been considering and talking about this process for a couple weeks, but now i feel free to do it in the open.

this Lent season has been weird, that’s for sure. granted, this is only the second year i’ve observed it, but still. it doesn’t feel like what i usually think of for Lent…fasting, humility, repentance. empty. still. it feels full and rich and moving like a rushing river. i went from being content in my city just months ago, to now being “excitedly anxious” as my boss said this eve, looking forward to the possibility of new horizons. i feel hopeful in a way i haven’t in awhile.

Christ came that we would have a full, abundant life, and i’ve never been reminded more of that than during this Lent season. a full life is risky. sometimes means cleaning out everything in the closet, on only the hope that you’ll be able to fill it again. sometimes it means moving forward on a hunch and seeing where the path leads. in my case, it may just mean following a job lead to Madison, Wisconsin or Seattle, Washington.

new horizons await.

 

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2 thoughts on “new horizons.

  1. Good luck with everything. I know how you feel 🙂 I have those moments of restlessness too; I have that feeling in my life right now, but for different reasons. I know my life is on hold for the next 6 months or so but I have the confidence and assurance that it’s for the best. I was just hoping to regenerate sooner rather than later 🙂

    But I’ll take what the universe is willing to give and expect nothing more 🙂

  2. oh it would be so fun if you were in Madison, just close enough for a really fun girls weekend visit! But having lived just north of Seattle, I can tell you the Pacific Northwest will always be near and dear to my heart. I loved it there. Most weekends spend hiking and photographing. I also became a mother there. And learned what it meant to be a wife there. If you do more there, I can tell you where to find the best, most ironically placed Chinese restaurant (in the middle of a residential area). And one of the best brew pubs.

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