i recently started nannying an almost 5-mo-old, who is subsequently teething.
given that she is in pain and i am a stranger, tears come easy. very easy.
last week, i was able to get her to sleep tho, as she chewed on my finger. this week, different story.
the mom, bless her heart, works from home and has not yet had a non-family member with her daughter. it is very hard for her to refrain when she hears cries. the disruption, however, makes it hard for me to learn the rhythm of the babe. for her to learn me. for us to learn that the sun will shine again after the tears.
i am not a sadist, but i do believe there is value in crying it out. something happens inside when we realize what once soothed us will no longer do; we have to dig deeper, let go, find our horizon expanding to let new people, places, things in.
my dreams have been chaotic lately. loud and bright and chock full of emotion. ghosts have come back from the past to speak comfort to me, current love interests have called in tears, unknown faces have shown up and unfamiliar scenarios. all very vivid. and i wake feeling moved in some way. shaken. stirred.
my brain is emotionally crying it out.
the babe and i will be fine, i think. so will me and the dreams. if anything i’m learning right now, it’s that this season will change. this, too, shall pass. just the moment i get the motions down, the sands will shift.
if i let it, the crying will give me new perspective. i’ll be stronger for the struggle.