let me tell you about my day. or rather, just the last 4 hours or so.
my roommate left, with the car, for Michigan for the week. usually not an issue considering i have a bike and have been bulking up on rain gear.
on my way to work, however, i slammed into a rather hideous pothole (thank you, city of Indianapolis) and blew the back tire. i was spewing obscenities all up Virginia ave. fortunately i was close to work. i chained the bike up and began to scheme about how i could get it to the bike shop just a 1/2 mile down the road.
one of my friends at the shop, Court, offered to drop it off when she left so that eliminated that frustration. i called when my shift was over and it was ready, so i started walking.
halfway into the trek, it started pouring. hardcore. by the time i reached the bike shop, i was soaked head to toe. my jeans, my boots, my hair…all dripping as i tried to sign the receipt. $17 i didn’t anticipate spending on my bike this week.
i pedaled back to the shop in the rain and, though i had my heart set on writing for awhile before going home, i admitted defeat and decided to pack up. i couldn’t help but think as i rode, how this is such an tangible illustration of how i feel lately…heavy, weighed down, cold, frustrated, my vision clouded. not knowing where i’m going, or why i’m doing the things i’m doing.
dreariness all over my horizon.
to add insult to injury, i rolled through a giant, parking-spot-long hole on the way back, full of water and oil. whatever wasn’t wet before certainly was now.
so, i sit in my underwear as i write this, partly because i can, and partly because i don’t yet have the heart to put pants back on. wet clothes are strewn everywhere and a hot cup of tea sits beside me. of all the days i would have permission to scrap it and just watch a movie, i really just want to write. i am trying to work up the determination to jump back in….