good-bye’s are so anti-climactic.
i know, i know…they’re sad, etc. but in movies, they are painted as this glorious moment where there is hugging, and tears, and everyone is fully aware and acknowledging how much they’re going to miss you…
yet here i sit, waiting out the minutes until the end of my day here. of my week, month, year…time here. after nearly 2 years in one place, i am moving on. still, several people from the office are on vacation, or out in the community, or gone for the day. it’s down to just two people: my supervisor and myself. i will likely leave with a simple, “good-night! have a good weekend!”
i gave my notice nearly 2 months ago, so there was no rushing about, trying to tie up loose ends or get that last project done; i’ve had weeks and weeks to think about that. as of now, my desk is emptied of all personal objects–my Peyton Manning bobble head, that picture of my sis and i at my dad’s wedding, the cartoons from The New Yorker my boss would jokingly give as an attempt at insulting me. all gone. packed and gone. like a kid on the last day of school, i am anxiously waiting for that clock to tick down to freedom.
this is not to say that i am disappointed, just noting the overall normal-ness of leaving. moving on. change. we push so hard back on it, trying desperately to grasp for the “way things were,” but perhaps the reality is that life is in a perpetual state of change. perhaps we are meant for such days as this, and that it makes sense that it feels like nothing more than just the next step.