must i write??

Rilke poses this question in his first “letter to a young poet.”  in my most honest moments i can admit that my compass has always seemed to be pointing in that direction.  i journal to capture my ever-flowing thoughts; blog to express my opinions.  i am above-all consumed with articulately expressing myself.

“accept that fate; bear it’s burden, it’s grandeur.”

this has always been the challenge…i am rather lazy…or, let’s use the word “undisciplined,” and circumstances beyond my control have made me wary of commitment.  but somehow, it seems i am being called to put down roots.  to accept with humility that my place in this world may very well be a dwelling in fountain square, writing and living in community.

this brings tears to my eyes for many reasons.  1. the simplicity of it.  2. the overwhelming TRUTH of it–nothing could seem more basic or obvious to me.  3. the giving-up/sacrifice of those things i find more “glamorous”–travel, a calling to plant a church, moving to a bigger, more “important” city (like Toronto….).  staying here means i must curb my discontent and open my arms (and my heart) wide, which is something i’ve been hesitant to do for a great while.  i must still my restlessness and see the small simple beauties where i am….

“if you can confidently meet this serious question with a simple, ‘i must,’ then build your life upon it.”

and i must.  so here we go…it’s guaranteed to be a wild ride….

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