i have been in a bit of a blogging slump. there are three drafts in my box that i just can’t bring myself to finish–they don’t feel “right” for some reason, and i think that big reason is because they’re forced.
i shared some of my frustrations with a coworker recently. my complaint centered around who would be reading my blog. do i write what’s safe, i asked her. or do i write from who i am?
her answer was short but packed a lot of punch: that depends on who the blog is for.
i have always staunchly blogged for myself, for my expression. i’ve had one since i was a junior in college (it can be found here), and looking back over it i am sometimes shocked at the things i would share. sometimes, but always pleased. that somewhere, at somepoint, the bold me made an appearance.
but now, since Training School began, i’ve defaulted to using this blog as a way of communicating my “progress,” for lack of a better term. which means my grandma reads it, and my family, and some of my more conservative friends who, if they don’t allow me to explain myself, will jump to harsh conclusions.
and wordpress.com is awesome, but it has all these features that allows me to see how many people view my page each day, who subscribes, what they like…every statistic driven to show me how popular, or unpopular, i am on any given day.
my writing, my true self, has been swallowed up in public opinion. geez…no wonder i’ve stayed away.
i would like to say this is my radical conversion, that i will throw off the cape of criticism that hinders me and from here on out be that bold and daring writer that lurks beneath the surface. i would like to, but i can’t. i’ve been blogging for nearly 7 years and am still susceptible to the madness.
so, for now, i will write from where i am, and hope that is enough. not for you; for me.