i forewent writing yesterday; the dance floor was calling my name.
after 2 1/2 hours of dancing and only 5 hours of sleep, i am struggling to stay interested in my story. now is the pivotal time for me, tho, where i get to know my characters, let them show me their patterns and rhythms of living. they establish themselves, but i must always make sure to give them room to change. (sounds like a metaphor for life, eh?) i definitely need to be more focused right (write, ha!) now than i am.
speaking of allowing the characters to change…my dad decided to join us for class this morning. we had two guest speakers share their own stories, especially as they related to race. it was good to see my dad interact with a group of people i’ve really come to value.
afterward, we stood in the parking lot talking. it was about 45 minutes before i decided to address the email mentioned previously. i was so impressed by the next hour’s conversation, that i cried (happy tears) all the way home.
my dad and i are very similar, just as are his dad before him, and likely further back. obnoxiously opinionated, rediculously stubborn. we both have a hard time conceded a defeat. needless to say, working through an issue can prove incredibly difficult.
but this time…this time it was so evident that God has been working in both of our lives. he was patient, not defensive, lovingly explained his side of the story. at first, i was a bit defensive of some things, but came to see that, just as our housemate needed this, my dad didn’t need my rebuttal; he needed my sincere affirmation of how important he is to me. he needed to hear i love you, and so did i. i needed to tell him how raw i feel right now, i hard it is to share this with family.
one part of the conversation that really struck me was when my dad could see i was feeling isolated and as though everyone was coming down on me at once, because he had also been in that place, and that motivated him to come to me. as i shared with housemate, Angela, today, it really is our stories–the raw honesty of them–being shared that provides healing to others.
as i said, i drove away crying. God was just so evident in the entire process…i felt overwhelmed with Love.